Live for Today

I'm not sure what this post is about, or even why I am writing after all of this time. But, after I received the news of a friend's passing yesterday, writing seems to be a better alternative to crying, at this point.

Casey Bridges; such a sweet kid. I dated his Brother, lived with his Sister, and his Parents always kept me well-fed. I can't imagine the hurt and the pain, of losing someone so close, and someone so special. Casey always had a smile on his face, always making people laugh. I hate to draw the comparison to my own little Brother, because honestly, the thought of losing him is too much to bear, but I can't help see the similarities in the two kids and the two Families, and my heart just hurts. I guess an event like this usually does put things, and life, into perspective, doesn't it?

Barry and I were texting eachother yesterday, and I am amazed at his strength, and know that it can only come from our Heavenly Father. I left work early, because after hearing from Barry, the reality of what happened, and the pain of Casey's Family, and everyone he has known, started to set in, and I couldn't keep the tears back. On my silent drive home, the only thing I could think to do, was talk to God. I think I kept repeating the same things over and over, pleading for the same things, "to be with Barry, and comfort him and his Family". It seemed like nothing, just words, in comparison to the pain that they were feeling, but I know it helped.

Barry's words were so beautiful, when talking about missing his Brother, but stated "I take comfort in knowing I'll see him again". I love that there is a Plan; our Heavenly Father has a plan. Families can be together Forever, and it's times like these, that seem to make that knowledge invaluable.

My favorite memory of Casey was seeing him and his Mom dancing with his nephew Julian (when Julian was still just a baby) his Mom was singing (and Casey was beat-boxing along to) the 'Itsy-Bitsy-Spider'. The strange thing is, I have been randomly going back to that memory, and a couple others, over the last couple of months; ever since Casey texted me in February, stating that he only had my number saved in his phone, not a name (I didnt have his number saved, either). Once we figured out who we were talking to, we both laughed, and quickly caught up with eachother. Casey told me that he was "just working, but heading back to Washington in the Fall, for school". I hadn't talked to Casey in a couple of years, and now, the texts seem much more serendipitous than I ever would have thought. Such a young, short life, but Casey is remembered by everyone as always being happy, and makng everyone laugh...I can't think of a better legacy to leave the world...

To the Bridges Family:
I love you, I am so sorry for your loss, and I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation, and the knowledge that you have, that Casey is watching over you, until you see him again.

My-so-called-life...

It has been literally forever since I have last posted! I guess life catches up with you sometimes, and all of the little time-consumers just seem to get in the way!

I had a great 4th of July weekend with my bestie, Miss Adi Mae, and her amazing family. Then, I got to spend time with my own fabulous fam on Monday, out at our family cabin! So fun, and as usual, so fun to see all of my nieces and nephews (my Sis Heidi has 2 foster kids; twin girls) that are sooo stinkin' cute! I cant believe how much has been done on our family cabin!! I must have dropped off the face of the earth for the past 6 months or so??? :)

The last couple of days I have been thinking about my life (which is probably what prompted this post) and how much I am so blessed. I am so thankful for my amazing family, who loves me no matter what, and for all of the little (and big) ways in which I have been so fortunate to live in such a great state, and country. I am so grateful for friends who make me better, and listen to my complainings (Adi has done a lot of that lately; I love you, friend!) and a family that wants nothing more than for me to be happy. I am thankful for a job that I love, and the opportunity that I get (because of my job) to try and make a difference in kids' lives (even if I never know if I truly helped them, I am thankful for the opportunity to try). Every day I go to work, I see and hear about so many horrific situations that my foster children live in and go through, and I think I forget to remember just how blessed I am, and have been. I'm only human, I make mistakes, but I guess Heavenly Father already knows that, and is always there, helping me along the way. For that, I am the most grateful.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! Freedom is not free; thank you to all the Soldiers and Veterans who have faught for my freedom.

I love Soft Serve Ice Cream

The name of this particular post has nothing to do with the actual posting. It is merely a representation of what I have craved EVERY single day for the past 2 weeks.

Apparently, I suck at blogging. Or, at least updating. I'm not entirely sure why I haven't blogged recently, it may have something to do with the fact that I haven't really done anything noteworthy lately, or it could just be that Facebook has been taking up a disgusting amount of my time. Both are rather sad to have to admit.

The end of June I ran the Mayors half marathon, which was an experience, to say the least. I am still having a hard time trying to figure out why someone felt it would be a good idea to end that race with a rather large hill. What. A. Jerk. At that exact moment, although I knew I was almost done, I was pretty sure I was going to die, or at least pass out. My friend Blair did it with me, which was so fun. My family was at the finish line to greet me, which was the best feeling ever. I got a medal, which, let's be honest, was really the only reason I ran the race.

But, ever since running the half, I have seriously screwed up my legs, knees, thighs...really, every part of my body associated with running. I suck. And I'm pissed that I could have potentially done something to my legs, which is going to make it impossible for me to comfortably run any more long distances. Since the 1/2, I have only run 3 or 4 miles at a time (and 4 miles is really probably being generous). I was at the gym today, and after only 2.5 miles, I hobbled off the treadmill. Yikes.

So....here's a post. This is brought to you only due to the fact that I was sick of hearing my family complain about my lack of posting lately. :)

12K Mania

So, I don't have time right now to post a full explanation of the fabulous weekend that I spent with my mom and sisters, but, I just wanted to give a quick update. It was the best race I have ever run! It was so much fun! Although 4 of the 7.5 miles were basically uphill (including the first 2 which were seemingly straight uphill) it was the most fun I have ever had running! The entire run went around Lake Oswego (we ran by all of the gorgeous houses that were right on the lake). I did it in 76 minutes, which was around a 10 minute mile average. I didn't care that it was relatively slow, I ran the entire time, and that was my ONLY goal. Goal accomplished.

Now, I need more than anything to find a sugar daddy so that I can afford to buy one of the 1.5 million dollar houses on Lake Oswego. This (just like my goal of retiring at 25 so that I can sip Pina Coladas on the beach, while ending poverty and world hunger) is probably not going to work out in my favor. One can always dream.

Summer's coming...and I still have to work. I should go to Grad School.

A laundry list of what has been going on in my life, or random thoughts in my head:

1. After 24 years of existence and 3 months of living completely alone I have discovered that I am absolutely afraid of the dark. Minnie seems to wake up and bark when I am sleeping, but softly snores right through the noises that I am convinced are the foot steps of a 7 foot man walking down my hallway, getting ready to rob and rape me. Thank goodness Adi is moving in with me soon...her bedroom is closer than mine. But, I will be sure to send Minnie into her room when I hear the monster coming. I'm just that good of a friend.

2. Zach Effron (sp?) is so incredibly...lovely (in an I-would-love-to-jump-him sort of way). I feel dirty saying that because I think he is only 17 or something like that. Whatever.

3. Apparently I appear so desperate for some lovin' in my life that everyone I talk to is trying to set me up with "this really nice guy" that they know. Thanks, but no thanks.
I was at a home visit the other day for work and my foster parent proceeded to ask me how old I was, and then began trying to think of the name of the guy that her husband kept saying "would make a really good husband". She said that she would talk to him and let me know when I come back for the next visit. Yikes. I find that every time I get set up with a guy that someone claims would be perfect for me, I leave the date wondering "What about them makes you think we would ever be perfect for each other"? Don't get me wrong, I'm not picky, just selective.

4. My training for the 12K is going good. I have to run 6.5 miles tomorrow. I'm not sure how well that's going to go. My sisters, mom, and I all leave for Portland on Thursday to go run the Lake Oswego 12K! I'm totally stoked.

5. Adi talked me into bringing Minnie over to her parents house tonight so she could play with their dog. What Adi forgot to mention was that she had a baby cow in the front yard. The second Minnie got out of the car she ran full speed towards the cute little cow. I have never seen a cow run so fast in my entire life. Not only that, she was pulling a 50 pound tire behind her with the simplest of ease. It was crazy. Like any rational girl, I started freaking out, screaming and yelling and waving my arms. I am pretty sure I screamed louder than I have ever screamed in my life, but no one in Adi's house even came out to see what was going on. Thank goodness no one was actually dying, or they would still be lying there. I grabbed Minnie while Adi had to grab the cow-poo-rope, and pull her back into the pen. This is what I got to hear as I saw Adi sludging through the poo (by the way, the cow also has ring worm all over it's body) "This is disgusting....cow shit.....ringworm...sick". That was pretty much the gist of it. I was cracking up so hard. I love her...and that cow.

6. I was sick with the swine flu recently. I was pretty much dying, or at least wishing I was dead. I have to thank my sister, Heidi, who brought me over 6 cans of chicken noodle soup, 2 different kinds of flu medicine, and 2 different boxes of popsicles. She is the kind of person you want around when you are sick! She didn't snuggle with me on the couch, but I realize those kinds of things are reserved for moms. Thanks Heidi, you're the best!

7. I have the best Dad ever. He takes care of every "manly" thing that I need done, like changing over my tires from the studded ones to the summer ones, changing my oil, changing out my break lights, and anything else I ask him to do. Love that man.

8. The days are getting longer and I love it. If it is not a warm summer I am going to kill someone. Or move. Both seem like good options right now.

VWRT

Last Thursday was mine and Laura's first trail run with the Valley Women's Running Team. I was expecting to show up and see a bunch of old, over-weight women. That was definitely not the case. In all honesty, a couple of them were pretty old, but these women were hard core! When Laura and I arrived at the base of the canyon, we didn't even want to get out of the car, and contemplated turning around right then. But, they were all staring at us and we figured we were stuck.

Laura and I felt utterly ridiculous in our yoga pants and zip-up cotton hoodies, while all of the other women were wearing tight, tapered, running pants. I have decided that to be a true Alaskan runner, you need to own a pair of tight, tapered, running pants.

Anyways, Laura and I mustered up enough courage to walk over to the spandex clan, in our yoga pants, and we began the run. This run was crazy! We were running on solid snow, up a mountain! Actually, the trail that we were running on was merely a snow-machine track. The only thing I can equate it to is running on sand, but harder.

Well, the entire run was up-hill and near the end I felt as if I was going to pass out, or defecate in my pants. Luckily, neither happened, and I made it back safely. I felt so good afterwards, and can't wait for the next Trail Run!

Tonight we have our coached track work-outs, which I am super stoked about. I'll let you know if I defecate in my pants.

My brush with the Law

Dear Police-officer-that-pulled-me-over-yesterday-morning,

I am not writing to dispute the fact that you should not have pulled me over. I clearly breezed through that Stop sign with no intentions of ever stopping. But, I do have a few questions for you.

To start off, four or five years ago I was home for the summer, from College. I was living with my parents in Wasilla, commuting everyday to Anchorage, to work at my sister, Laura's, design firm. In 1 months time I was pulled over at least 4 or 5 times. Each friendly Officer let me off with just a "warning", until the final guy nailed me with a $435 ticket. It's ok though, that cop was young, and a redhead. Enough Said.

That is not my point, though. My point is, each time I got pulled over I was never asked for my phone number or where I worked. Is that standard protocol now? If so, by all means. But, I don't believe it is.

With all of that aside, stalk me all you want, because you let me off with just a "warning".

Signed,
stalkable-morning-commuter